When my son was younger, I would read him The Hobbit as a bedtime story with the intention of adding the subsequent LOTR trilogy later. A few years have passed though and we still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I don’t read him to bed anymore but maybe I still could? He will be 12 in a few months but he’s not there yet, that place where his mom is 24/7 annoying & the ennui has sank in any publicly expressed enthusiasm. Maybe he won’t be like his own mama, we’ll see. He’s got some time before the hormones dismantle the patterns that mostly still exist for him and I’m appreciating all of the lovely, sweet and sarcastic conversations we have.
We are on vacation right now, staying at our friend-family on the west coast. It’s one of those easy vacations, not too much planned. There’s a lot of sleeping in and just making the day with whatever arises, a sort of anticlimactic vacation sprinkled with a few touristy things. What that sort of mid-summer paced break from the maze of summer engagement allows us is that we get to hang out as a family. And we get to do that with another family that we’re all close to. Each of us has a counterpart in the other family/we’ve all got our own buddies, is what I’m trying to say. Last night, my buddy (the other mom/my “sister-wife”) and I were talking about Lord of the Rings. I mentioned that I haven’t read it to my son yet but since he’s a voracious reader on his own, I’m encouraging him to pick it up. He loves Zelda and the middle earth themes are right up his current obsession’s alley. He hasn’t taken me up on that suggestion so I thought “Maybe if he saw the movies he’d be interested…”
“He hasn’t seen the movies?” my buddy exclaimed.
“What?!” his buddy exclaimed.
So we conjured up “The Fellowship of the Ring” and the four of us watched it while the dads drank beer listening to Delbert & Glenn in the speakeasy out back.
He loved it. Success (and no surprise!) and I loved rewatching it for the first time with someone who didn’t know the story. He remembers The Hobbit and so he knew Bilbo and some of the circumstantial story but otherwise was green to the larger epic that was being told.
Here’s where my archetypal lens became sharpened: watching a story that you have heard many times before, but one that you’re aware someone else is hearing it for the first time, is a harmonic experience. When you’re a parent, you have this experience of doing things again but for the first time. The first carousel ride, the first time eating a lime, the first time at the beach, the first concert etc…all of the firsts that you usher your children through, you’re as excited for them as you are yourself. You’re reminded of what it is to experience these things in life but the chance to taste what it is to experience it for the first time is exquisite. Some firsts are harder (we had our first stitches at the Urgent Care a month ago) but most are reminders that we share so many experiences through generations, those shared memories are bonds through time. My grandmother died long before my son was born, but the first time I took him to my home beach of Tybee Island, I felt my grandmother there too. She took me to that same beach when I was a child all through my childhood (and since it was our family beach, it was most likely the first sand between my own toes).
Back to Middle Earth: the rich, layered, prismatic and poetic symbolism of Lord of the Rings won’t be autopsied here. There’s plenty to say on the subject, entire doctoral thesis have been written on the story, the archetypes within, the larger lesson of light vs dark, the hypothesis that it could possibly not be fiction but a long ago and true historical account that was translated by the philogist Tolkien etc.. Maybe that’s another writing for another night, I have just been sitting with this one thing.
What has been lingering with me since last night’s viewing, one that I watched with finely tuned fresh eyes, was this quote from Gandalf the Grey. In a conversation with Frodo, the Hobbit who was tasked/burdened to carry the weight of the ring to be destroyed in the fires of Mordor, Gandalf told the story of the ring and how it had resurfaced. Frodo honestly responds by saying
“I wish it need not have happened in my time.”
“So do I” said Gandalf “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Back to modern earth: the anxiety that persists in a modern life, the news of frequent “freak” natural disasters, the onslaught of so much information/attention seeking/digital cookies attaching to the soul, the uncertainty of it all, the fundamental systems that are falling away as we move from this Age of Earth towards a more recognized Age of Air. What do we do with the time that is given us? We should isten to Gandalf’s last words, the ones that he shouted after defeating an evil underworld spirit:
“Fly, you fools”
What does that mean to you? Venus favors the bold. Fly, you fools. Life is excruciatingly short, Fly, you fools. Don’t waste your time fretting, Fly, you fools. Just do the thing, take the chance, shoot your shot, forgive and forget, buy the ticket/take the ride, Make Art/Make Love, chase the dream, sleep in, tune in/drop out, love tightly/hold lightly. And maybe read Tolkien.